I started working in my novel again, small word count goal for now. I have reached that point where you really hate all your characters and plot. But it’s moving ahead. \o/
I also started poking at an old project. Reworking the plot, and expanding it. I think it will end up being a series. I’m excited about it.
- I got 500 words written every day this week.
- I finished reading book 1 of 5.
- Almost done on old files clean up.
I have really hit a rough patch. I’m trying to pull of it but the last two weeks has been terrible in a lot of ways. Lots of annoying but necessary work to get done on job, exhausting meetings and family woes. I have mostly abandoning my novel and spiraled down a guilt x procrastination spiral again.
This always happens. Every time I fail at getting what I planned to do finished I feel so guilt that I start to procrastinate even when I have the time. Like if I can’t get everything I wanted done, it’s better not get anything at all done. And when I look at my calendar I realise that I have wasted 2 weeks trying to come up if that perfect time for writing and not actually writing anything.
I think it’s time to reassess what is actually possible and commit to small steps before I build up to what I was used to do. It’s a little bit like trying to go back to your old workout program after a long break. This way only lies frustration and sore muscles!
That will be my goal for the next feel days. Plan around what I can do now and not what I was able to do a year ago.
I had a couple of terrible day this week so far. I didn’t managed to get almost anything done and end up behind in my word count. Mostly due to a couple of problems in my real life. I need to find a better way to deal with things than pretending they are not happening. This whole denial thing is getting out of control.
Some people say they can use their problems to write, they can put it on paper. I never managed to grasp how to do that. All that stress and sadness manage to do is make miserable and unmotivated, and it’s so hard to push through it to go back to a stable place.
I’m not the kind of person that wait around for inspiration, I usually can find it just fine after a couple minutes staring at the blank page, but when I’m in one of those weird moods it’s like I forgot how to put ideas together completely. I hope I can go back to back to a good place soon.
Today I only have a quick update that things are going well this week. It had been a while since I started anything completely new and long. I missed the feeling.
- I worked exclusively in the NaNo novel this last few days. First finishing planning and then actually writing. Curent word count 6,3k of 50k.
- I got a lot of things sorted out in the huge backlog of unnamed documents. I think I have passed the halfway point now.
- Failed hard to read anything this week.